EP020 // Season 2! // Let's Catch Up Friend!

Welcome to Season 2 of Peace by Pieces - Unpacking the Human Experience! 

In this episode we catch up with Ashley and the past 10+/- months and peak into what is to come!

Links Mentioned: 

• Glitter Bomb by Leah Bomar 
• A Prayer of Reclamation featuring Ashley! - All Proceeds go to Charity
• NEW Free Mini Course: How to Enjoy Early Motherhood Without Losing Yourself 

Find me on Instagram:
ashleyatinnersunshine

Transcript

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Hello. Hello. Oh my gosh. Welcome to Peace by pieces the podcast unpacking The Human Experience, man. It's me, Ashley. Hi. Wow. This is season 2 y'all it has been like 10 months. Since I posted and it was not an official closing of the Season there was no like see you next time guys or nothing like that. It just stopped. Much like a lot of things then man the past year has been a wild ride for me. internally and personally and emotionally and mentally and Oh, man. And we're back. We're back and I'm here and I've got so much to share so much to share with you guys, and I'm pumped and it feels good and it feels right and it feels like my next right step. So that is why I'm here. That's why I'm here. So. Well first goodness, so this season two of Peace by pieces. I'm no longer doing videos. I'm just gonna do audio. We're just gonna do a traditional podcast here. Um, and I loved I love doing the video and I loved uploading it to YouTube and I love YouTube and I even love like watching myself, you know, some people have this like thing with like not wanting to like be in videos and because they don't want to like see themselves or hear themselves or watch themselves. I don't have that like I love watching it and I love the opportunities it had for like Rosie to pop in and and to like capture those sweet little moments and stuff like that. but you know like I didn't fix my hair for this. Sitting here at my desk doesn't matter what I'm wearing doesn't matter if it's night or day. It doesn't matter what the lighting is. It doesn't matter anything. So we're just like making this easy for ourselves. Right? Like we get in our own ways so much like more than we even know and then when we start peeling back those layers of how we're getting in our own way, there's always more like their own way. It's wild it's crazy. It's um It's like unpacking a big old present. Because truly at the center of it, you know, it's not something to be like shameful of or guilty of or like rolling our eyes at or like oh my God, I'm such an idiot. Why was I doing that? Like, that's not that's not what's at the center and I'm not even at the center guys. I am not I said The more you unlayer and unpack the more that there is I think and I don't know anyway, but at the center of it there's this. knowing and this trust in yourself And this compassion for yourself? And this allowing to be imperfect and to just be whatever is in the moment, which reminds me of like that Encanto song with Isabella singing about her powers. I can't remember the anxiety. I'd have to like sing it for you right now. I'm not gonna do that but something about like if I just did what I was feeling in the moment, you know. and just like trusting that and knowing that there's always more growth to happen and you've already come a long way and celebrating that but also just being fully where you are, you know, and that kind of brings me to my next point, you know a My birthday was about was a month ago. And Rosie's birthday is in a month from today. and I turned 41 so I am now in my 42nd year, which is the last year of my seventh seven cycle in this human body and Rosie will be seven in a month. So she is like the the way that our seven Cycles line up and if you don't know anything about seven Cycles, that's that's a topic for another day, but it's fascinating and So good, but I guess snippet of that. Is that basically our Body, like out the physical tissues the cells that make up our body have the cycle of course of like dying off and being, you know new cells being made and that that cycle of die off and birth and die off and birth and birth but that like literally every seven years. We have a brand new body and not like, you know, snap the fingers you have a brand new body, but like You know, I had like my if you compared the cells that I have right now in this body right now to those of seven years ago, like nothing is the same there's you know, like there's a turnover there. So like Rosie's about to hit that like first You know that first that first seven years plus the first seven years of life in general like there's so much that happens. In those first seven years like developmentally wise like physically emotionally mentally like your brain will never develop as much and as fast as it does during those first seven years really the first three and then five and then seven so I kind of like tapers off. But anyway, that's that's topic for another day. but the whole thing about oh enjoying Where You Are. But but also and also like looking back and looking forward like it is all all three. You know, we we are comprised of our past and those past experiences. Do you know exist in this moment? Because we're still carrying them and like our future is being birthed in this moment. So all of those things coincide right now and You know for my birthday, I don't really do. Like New Year's resolutions or or anything like that like on the new year. My birthday is the beginning of February. So it's kind of like right in the middle between like The new year calendar wise which I have another podcast from last season, you know, it's just a made up thing. Right like it's totally made up by man. In the actual Rebirth of the world, which well, I guess northern hemisphere which would be in springtime. So I'm like my birthday is right in the Millet. So as she was that as the opportunity to like Look back on the past year of my life. And also like look forward to like the things that I want, you know that I'm aiming for the things that I'm bringing into reality in this next next year and That this last year man. It's been a trip. It's been a trip there were so many things that did not. happen So many things that did not come to fruition or manifest or whatever words. We want to use so many things so many plans that were laid that like Got totally sidetracked. So many things that were not in my control, you know that I just had to flow with that. I got to flow with I was presented with the opportunity to learn, you know, another just experience of flowing with them and you know a few things is I was selling our camper van. That Rosie and I had traveled in for almost three years that I loved but it was time for us to expand into a bigger space. So that's how we landed here at my dad's house that was going to be temporary and it still is because everything is temporary. Like the old like the only constant in this life is change. and so yeah that the selling of the van took. Longer than then I wanted it to that. I hoped for it too that I intended for it, too again. Like, you know Divine timing right? Like I can't force it. I can't fight it. I can't like why can but like what's that get me right? It finally was sold and completed sale. The beginning of July July 1st actually is when they came and got it. And then that was a whole like a grieving and mourning process of like really watching it drive away. That they're crying. It was raining that day and oh man and then like we we cut off a whole bunch of Rosie's hair, which was a whole other. Kind of mommy moment. Oh, man, and then like shortly after that. I I did I bought I bought a fifth wheel camper, which is like the big like camper trailers, but it's got the big bump in the front that like hooks into the bed of the truck instead of the bumper. So I bought one of those and I love it. But it's just I don't know how to drive it. I don't know how. To pull it apart. I don't even have a truck yet. I still don't have a truck yet. Um, you know, thankfully the the guy that I bought it from delivered it for me and like got it all set up and showed me how to do it. So it's it's here my dad's driveway and shortly after that. We found out my dad needed heart surgery. He needed a triple bypass surgery. so then like you know all of a sudden I'm I'm with this other wave of like total gratitude of being here already being here already being settled in already being comfortable here so that you know, even if we had been traveling we would have come back for that obviously and maybe not obviously but I we would have come back and you know being here to assist him in that to be there for that to be at the hospital to because he couldn't drive for like two months afterwards to take him to his doctor's appointments to drive him around to like be of service to him in that way to help him through that. Recovery, and we're we've been getting his diabetes under control and like, you know heavily assisting in that and like cooking for him and helping him like understand what's going on and like all of this stuff. Goshen just so much more so much more that I can't even involve here. But another thing that I wanted, you know talking about the review of the last year, but another thing is that last week was leap day last week, you know, we was it's a leap year. So last week a couple of days ago was February 29th and a friend of mine beautiful woman Leah Bomar who is a friend and an author. She actually has a new she has two books one of them. I'm in but her first book is called glitter bomb. It's a novel It's A Memoir of her life and it's amazing. I'll link it below and then she quickly compiled, you know, a multi author Anthology. It's like poetry and pros and journal entries and stuff like that and I submitted a couple of things pieces of written work for that and and I was chosen and so like now I'm a published author which is so cool. But anyway, that's not the point. She she did this thing where in 2020 on Leap Day on 2020. She like recorded this short video, you know to herself to like Leah in four years on the next leap day. And so like so that Facebook would like notify her of like, you know this day four years ago, whatever so that she would watch it in four years. And and it was really emotional thing for her because like the the things that she said in the video like are now true. You know, she so like that's it's you know, it's happened. Right? And so I got me thinking like that would be really cool to do and and then all the sudden like the past couple of days have been really interesting for me. I was on I was on my period so I think I was a little bit more like hormonal and emotional there could you know a million other things that could be happening as well, but I was just in my feels and feeling some some other types of emotions that I don't regularly feel but I think that that's maybe some of the magic that happens on our periods. Is that like we get to feel some of those things that are not pleasant but it is part of this Human Experience, right? So I was feeling some mom guilt. I was feeling some things coming up around like I mean, there was one night that I lay there. Bake and I do not do that. Like I have no problem sleeping 99.9% of the time and I'm usually asleep within like 10 minutes of my head hitting the pillow but there was a couple of nights in a row that I was like laid awake my mind rolling from one thing to the next and and eventually I was like what is going on like this is not this is not something that I regularly deal with but the next morning, I journaled all those out so that's actually some of the episodes that will be coming up here soon is is this like shame storm that I went through in regards to like some some bombing stuff some like choices that I made and some instances that happened in the past in in my mom role to Rosie and and stuff like that. So that'll be coming up because I worked through those things and it's also you know like I talk about being free of you know, being a guilt-free mom and shame free mom and like and being in the moment and enjoying and all that kind of stuff but like those emotions like they are there, right? They are part of this Human Experience, but we don't have to live in them and and we get to you know, I think the majority of the guilt and the shame that we as mums do feel a lot of that is from outside, right? It's outside pressures, which is you know, I'll get into another day but like it's becoming from the outside. It's not coming from the inside but when but when guilt or rises from the inside, then that's an opportunity for us to look at those things with love and compassion and it's an opportunity for us to forgive ourselves because we're not perfect. I am not perfect. None of us are perfect and we're not going to like never ever mess up. you know, there are things that I would have done differently with my daughter and and things like that and it is it was an opportunity for me to sit with those things. Look at them unpack them and and forgive myself and move on because I can't go back in time and change it. I can address things with her now. But yeah, so that's coming up. But the the leap day thing when I thought about like day that this had I was thinking about this on March 1st, actually so is the day afterwards and all of a sudden I just felt this like feeling of dread and it came on with the initial realization that like In four years on the next leap day, like Rosie will be almost 11. She will be like 10 and 11 months. Right? Like she'll be on the verge of turning 11 and like Oh, right, like when we think about things like that like how old our kids will be? You know on in the future it can hit you like a ton of bricks and all of a sudden you like. Can't breathe. And like I'm getting emotional right now and that happened and I was like, whoa, like all of a sudden I don't want to do this. Not want to I don't I do not want to make a video. To Ashley in in four years because she has an 11 year old Rosie and oh my gosh. Oh my gosh, right. And then it and then it was like like I was slapped in the face with all these things all these aspects of my life right now that are not where I want them to be. you know all the things that are not quite there wherever there is, you know, the things that I do want to shift and change and you know in all aspects of my life really and even though there are so much so many things that I'm like that I absolutely love and and all in for and all here for and that I'm completely grateful for and all that but there are you know, I think that they're there are always going to be some things that that we're still looking to to shift and change because like I said, the only constant in this change, but all of a sudden I was like slapped with those things and and I was like man like what is this like Debbie Downer type of stuff. But again, it's just it's an opportunity for for me. It was an opportunity for me to like look at things. So I did it I did I I was walking I was walking outside with my bare feet on the ground and it was a beautiful sunny day. And and I made a video to Ashley in four years. I'm not gonna post it on Facebook. She Leah posted it like unlisted. So it was just for her but like I'm gonna I don't know set up because you can set up emails to like send to yourself or anybody on a certain date in the future. So I think I'm gonna do that with like a link to it or something like that so that it's not missed but that was a really like therapeutic thing. to sit there and talk to to Future Ashley and to like share some of the the worries and the doubts that I carry now and you know share the things that like I'm working on now and where I think it's going and like looking at you know, like literally looking at the camera and being like do you have this now? like We got through it, right because that was another piece like as I sat there like being faced with all these worries. It was almost like I put myself in. The shoes of four years from now Ashley like watching this video again and looking at me now and being like girl it all worked out. It all worked out. It's all okay, it's all okay and it felt like this hug from future Ashley and it felt like reassurance that everything is gonna be alright, we're gonna make it through these things these things are gonna shift. They are gonna change things are gonna happen that we don't even know about you, of course like, and so much good and and it was like a relief and that's available to you now too and that's in that sense of relief was really what led me to like actually make the video and and it was also this connection of like if I know things are gonna be okay, then they can be okay now. And if I know that I'm gonna be grateful for things now because like when I look back to things that I was dealing with four years ago or eight years ago, you know, like going back on the on the leap year cycle the things that I was worried about then like it's all gone. It all worked out. Like if I could go back and give four years ago Ashley a hug and be like, oh we got this. or eight years ago, whatever, you know like would And that would give past Ashley, you know this like relief of reassurance and that like things things that I was struggling with then I'm grateful for now because of the growth and and the empowerment and all the the goodness and evolution and development and you know, all of this stuff all these like just really really good things life-giving things right that came out of that and those struggles and that if I am thankful for it now that I could have been thankful for it then and whatever I'm struggling with now if I know four years from now, I will be thankful for it. Then I can be thankful for it now and that shifts some energy, doesn't it? That shifts some energy. You think about that? Let's think about that. So with that I think I'm gonna wrap up this kind of like first red. I don't even know first episode of season 2. I'm here we're back and I've got some good stuff coming up and this season. I'm going to be focusing a bit more. Um or just more in general not a bit. We're gonna go all it actually on motherhood stuff. And being a mom and raising a child because so much of The Human Experience starts right here. You know Rosie's Human Experience. Started in these past seven years, like that's that's those are the roots and so much happens in those first seven years. And so much of that is directly. Connected to your mom and your relationship with with your own. Not just your mom. Yes a family. Yes the dad. Yes siblings. Yes, grandparents, you know, yes. Yes and the mom and like there's no denial don't denying the connection. That's there. Like I grew her inside of me. We were literally connected by a life-giving organ and You know so that and that connection the connection that we have with our children that we cultivate with our children. Is their Foundation? for all of their future relationships and the relationship is The Human Experience relationship with us relationship with themselves relationship with their friends and their family in their loved ones and their future kids like it all it all starts here. And mine started when I was a kid and you know. just the ripples of all of that. So that's that's what season two is gonna focus on and I'm so happy to have you here. and I'll wrap it up there. And I love you. You guys are awesome and let's do this thing man. Happy spring.